Reality Check

I read a blog post by a friend of mine this morning on what the Unreal Woman is for her. I thought I would write my own version of the Unreal Mother.

The Unreal Woman. She has coffee and breakfast at her table while the sun streams in on her face every morning before the kids wake up. She is able to check her email and facebook quickly without feeling like she is ignoring her children. She also has time to read a few pages in a book. Her house smells like a fresh cool summer breeze and flowers since she always has a fresh vase full of gerber daisies, daffodils, or tulips. The bed is always made.
The Unreal Woman's home is always clean with just a simple need of pick up from time to time. Laundry is always changed over immediately as the buzzer sounds and is taken out of the dryer, folded, and hung as to not allow any wrinkles to set in. She also irons so that her husband always has freshly pressed shirts. And she loves it.
She is always pulled together beautifully. Her outfit coordinates perfectly as if she used a color wheel to complement each color and her skin tone. (that one is for you, Georgia!) Her clothes are never wrinkled as if she just grabbed whatever was nearest off of her floor, and there is never snot, spit up, or tear stains on her shoulder. Her hair is perfectly styled, shiny, and she always has those lovely new accessories from Anthropologie. She smells like fresh cotton and roses all the time and has a natural glow.
Her children do not scream, bite, pinch, poke, or have tantrums in which they are screaming so loudly while sprawled out across the floor of Trader Joes. She would never receive rude glances from other shoppers that imply what an awful child or why can't that mother control her kids? Her children simply sit quietly in the front of the cart, as opposed to underneath, while sipping on organic milk and they smile lovingly to all who are near.
"The Woman has that small but reliable and loving group of friends like the ones that you always see on sitcoms like How I met your Mother or Sex and the City, or duh, Friends. There's a place that they hang out regularly, and they share, share, and overshare their lives."
My Unreal Woman always knows the right thing to say and is always uplifting. She never stresses about what she said or worries she seemed awkward then replays the scenario in her head a million times over thinking how she could have been more funny or endearing. "Unreal Woman is loved and adored by all - she is never unfriended or excluded, and again, if she was, she wouldn't care. Because things like that do not phase this Unreal Woman." She never says a bad or hurtful word about anyone...she is always kind. When she cries, tears leak slowly and she dabs them with a beautifully embroidered handkerchief rather than doing the "ugly" cry and wiping her tears and snot on the sleeve of her shirt because she is too tired and lazy to get up and grab a tissue.
The Unreal Woman never misses a workout, always drinks enough water and does not have to worry about waking up 5 times a night to use the bathroom because she drank all that water. She always looks good while doing said workout, never having bright red cheeks, sweat marks in awkward places, hair that is pulled out of her pony tail and has managed to stick up in a weird and funny way. She does not have to hold the rail of the treadmill as she is stepping off because she has not run in months and her jiggly and unsteady legs cannot hold her up.
She always cooks wonderful meals and is never wondering what she should make at 5:30pm crossing her fingers that there is a box of Mac & Cheese in the cupboard. While she cooks, her children are engaged in a craft project or highly intellectual learning activity. never plopped in front of the T.V. She plays on the floor with her children for hours, takes them to the park, reads 15 books at bedtime, and there is never the need for a time out or spanking.
She does it all, smiling all the while. Nothing can phase her.
This woman is not me and will never be me. But, I can rest assured that I am doing my best to take care of myself, my family, and my home while serving a loving Jesus that forgives me my flaws, actually created me with those flaws, never judges me based on my works, and loves me wholeheartedly. I find my worth in Him. Where would I be without that? Probably on the floor in the fetal position doing the ugly cry.